Jones Cancels Koran Burning over Dove Church Website SERP Concerns

Prior to the Sermon on the Mount Jesus warmed up the crowd by hitting low 2 irons just over the head of Satan. This is the origin of "An eye for an eye."; it was a side bet.

Today conspiracy theorists are having a field day analysing the reason that Terry Jones called off the Koran Burning Festivities scheduled for 9/11 between 6 pm and 9 pm at the Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, Florida. The real reason is now Turin shrouded in mystery. Only his webmaster knows for sure.

This week Terry Jones was really dug in about the Koran Burning, citing Matt. 23 on television where Jesus refers to the political and religious leaders of the day as hypocrites, blind guides, blind fools, greedy, self indulgent, decayed bones of the dead, serpents and broods of vipers. Terry Jones compared himself to Jesus overturning the tables of the money changers in the Temple. He compared himself to Jesus who cried that his goal was to gather the children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings to protect them.

It was at this point that the Dove World Outreach Church webmaster said to Pastor Jones, "Terry, our inbound links are off the charts, 6,000 one way links from top websites in just one week. Our Church Website http://www.doveworld.org page ranking and our Website SERP are flying off the charts and now we can reach the world and gather the Christian children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings to protect them. Unfortunately though, I have some bad news for you. Our web host Rackspace has taken our 50 member Church Website off the internet because of the Koran Burning. Instead of reaching a billion people like Rick Warren you are going to be relegated back into the obscurity from whence thou has come. What good is a gigantic SERP and page ranking if everyone surfing to our website is greeted with a blank page?" SEO companies today are scrambling to warn their clients not to burn Korans.